A Message to the BDSM Community from a Christian Man

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A message or perhaps better put, a life observation, pertinent to the BDSM community when it comes to so many things in regards to the customary practices between men and women, especially in regards to how women are treated.

You dominate a woman with love. Love is the language of a women's passion. If you love her enough she will do anything for you. To cause her pain in order to achieve dominance is nothing but a statement of your own inability to love yourself, because as the Bible puts it, "So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. Ephesians 5:28"

Women will do anything for love. To force a woman to do something by force in regards to a passionate encounter or any endeavor is a statement rather of a lack of control and hints to an internal aspect of immaturity on the part of the male in terms of him being able to successfully lead a woman. Women were not meant to be broken, they were created to be loved. The ultimate dominating control over a woman isn't achieved through pain or loss of choice as BDSM culture would have you believe. No, it is when a woman fully unique to herself the way God made her in all her glory takes her own will, emotions, and desires and places them at your feet with her own hands and remains at heart everything that attracted you to her and yet who is now willfully submissive to anything you wish to do to her. Women will walk through fire for the man they love.

A man who has broken a women's spirit by force to serve him in the defunctness of his own spiritual ruin has nothing but a mirror image of his own lack of spirit to back him up in the times of gravest need, while a man who loves his woman and respects her has to do nothing in order to be held up by the intact strength and intentional tenacity of the one crafted by the Creator to be his helpmate through both the good times and the bad times. The bruised, gagged, and broken will of a woman in a BDSM relationship in turn is nothing but a statement of nature out of balance, because if love was present the woman would first be loved by the man and not abused and through this love she would bless the man with all the desires of his heart, instead of being bled dry of all emotion, passion, and sense of self worth to assume the condition of something desired by a male who has neither control of himself or any understanding of what love and passion can be like, but foolishly feels that both are rooted within himself.

The truth is that love can only be manifested after one overcomes one's own selfishness and gives away love freely to another, expecting nothing in return, but yet capitalizing on receiving back in full more than one could ever take by force. A forced plea by either mental or physical coercion to say, "Yes, Sir" or "Yes, Master." is trumped every time by an emotionally authentic husky passion filled voice saying, "Yes, Honey. Anything you want Baby." The latter is freely given by a spirit still intact of its individuality and ability to love freely and passionately without restraint. This is true domination on the part of the male and an example of blissful submissiveness upon the part of the woman with no chains needed. If you have to chain something you really don't control it, all your doing is enslaving it. Meanwhile as a male your completely missing the reality that through loving her she may gratefully enslave herself to your every whim and upon doing so it becomes your responsibility to do nothing to her that you wouldn't first do to yourself.

The Way of Love as defined in the Word of God

1 - If I speak human or angelic languages

but do not have love,

I am a sounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

 

2 - If I have the gift of prophecy

and understand all mysteries

and all knowledge,

and if I have all faith

so that I can move mountains

but do not have love, I am nothing.

 

3 - And if I donate all my goods to feed the poor,

and if I give my body in order to boast[a]

but do not have love, I gain nothing.

 

4 - Love is patient, love is kind.

Love does not envy,

is not boastful, is not conceited,

 

5 - does not act improperly,

is not selfish, is not provoked,

and does not keep a record of wrongs.

 

6 - Love finds no joy in unrighteousness

but rejoices in the truth.

 

7 - It bears all things, believes all things,

hopes all things, endures all things.

 

8 - Love never ends.

But as for prophecies,

they will come to an end;

as for languages, they will cease;

as for knowledge, it will come to an end.

 

9 - For we know in part,

and we prophesy in part.

 

10 - But when the perfect comes,

the partial will come to an end.

 

11 - When I was a child,

I spoke like a child,

I thought like a child,

I reasoned like a child.

When I became a man,

I put aside childish things.

 

12 - For now we see indistinctly, as in a mirror,

but then face to face.

Now I know in part,

but then I will know fully,

as I am fully known.

 

13 - Now these three remain:

faith, hope, and love.

But the greatest of these is love.    

1 Corinthians 13 - Holman Translation

In regards to the many other aspects of the BDSM culture all I have to say is I recognize none of it as being natural. The natural dominance and submissiveness in terms of relationship between that of a man and his woman is where it's all at and the rest to me is akin to a mutant DNA  copy mistakes that an individual is best free of rather than suffering continually from. Deliverance from many things whether it be people, possessions, fetishes, lifestyles, demons, past trauma, feelings of inadequacy and shame are all made possible through the redeeming sacrifice and the blood of Jesus Christ. Remember it's never to late to change and if you became what you are then you can always become something different and yes that can be a task simply to hard to achieve on your own, which is why you need to call out to God. Ask for forgiveness, hold your ground with what strength you do have and I promise you help will come. It all starts with your choice and God forces salvation upon no one, even as a relationship with Him is one based out of a submissiveness on your part of giving literally everything of yourself willfully over to Him to manage and change as He wishes to. Relationship with the Creator, the Father of everything is the original Dominance/Submissiveness relationship and to help illustrate that to humans in order to wrap our sometimes feeble and often foolish intellects around He made them male and female after His own image. When a mastery is achieved in love between a man and his woman then both have a classic example of how to be before God Himself, as God is the very essence of love itself, and without Him there would be no good thing and as all things came to be by Him so should all creation be submitted to Him. When you achieve that harmony of balance in your life you will know true happiness is found only in the knowledge of whether or not your constantly pleasing your Creator. What it means to be a Christian is not what many have seen, rather it should be an act of the heart in willful submission to the Father's will being done in their lives. God gives many patterns and examples within His Word to illustrate the greater truth's achievable through spiritual intimacy with Him. I encourage everyone to go out and pick up a Bible or read/listen to it online. Don't focus on the negative aspects you've seen within Christianity and many of those who call themselves Christian, instead focus on your own unique relationship with God, the Father, and let Him direct the path of your life and the greatest part of that journey is that it is a love affair that will never end and only grow sweeter and more fulfilling as time ends and eternity begins.

I've been inspired to write this article because I'm in the process of writing my latest book, Surrender's Passion, which may be already out by the time some of you read this. It is my take on what Christian styled Dominance and Submission could look like in a more extreme set of circumstances. One warning is if you go read the blurp, the blurp is now entirely wrong and doesn't fit the direction that God directed the story to go down, at all, so be patient and before you know it another book will be available and the blurp will have been updated.

Thoughts and comments welcome. Sadly I have come to not always appreciate some that I receive, but alas such is life. Please do try to keep it to a civil discourse.

Sincerely,

Aedan Sayla - Author or Erotic Christian Fiction